catching up

so much to catch up on.

I finished off my hanukkah celebrations.....I was able to see family that I hadn't seen in years of December 25th.........I was denied an auto loan by credit union.....my car is still driving great, even though it shakes.......work is going well......my health is good........my studies and scriptures are more indepth and consistent.......I got my savings back up.......I have so many wonderful wonderful friendships......especially one of my best friends, who is officially engaged.


Last night was full of blessings, I spent all day thinking about what I was going to do the night of December 31st, I had decided to go home and stay home, but then it came to me to call a certain brother and I'm glad I did because he invited me out to college night hosted at the home of a family of believers....and it was awesome....we played games, ate, had fellowship and intercessory prayer for one another; we ended up leaving the home of the host and heading to the recreation facility of the congregation where the teen group was having a lock in, we played games, danced, watched a movie and had praise/worship and prayer. I didn't to to bed until around 10am when I got home.

This place is so awesome, its filled with so many passionate, genuine believers......and as I (til this day) pray for where the Father wants me to be, I feel drawn to this place.....there is a apart of me that doesn't want to get caught up in emotion and attachment......believing that this may hinder where God wants me to be, and the another part of me desires to let go fear and step out on faith...and not close my eyes to what I have been led to discover; ....see..the very things that God has placed in my life, he is in control and the friendship that lead to me finding this place and the wonderful experiences I have had since visiting this place is not coincidence or chance, I think on this now more so than I have in the past.

So often I think about what I have lost in my previous congregation, and other doctrinal issues, convictions, and personal hang ups.....and it all creates this sort of wall I suppose, if that's the word to use........but there is also a part of me that just wants to step out on faith, and just let go and go for it....but at the same time, there is the necessity to be circumspect.......if there is one thing I have learned this past year is that I have to be circumspect in all things......my openness has allowed me to receive immeasurable blessing and yet was one the main reasons I no longer am apart of my past congregation......the duality of it all is just.....awing, and yet I can't fail to remember that all things happen for a reason...God is in control. I suppose I just need to let go of everything...my hang ups, conviction, start afresh in the simplicity of my life of faith..move forward in faith?..... time will tell....

I ramble just to say simply that I desire to be where God wants me to be...I need a home congregation, I need fellowship....I can't do this alone........no place is perfect, and its not about me anyway, its about being a brother, being a servant and growing spiritually through my relationships with other believers on this journey in His Kingdom.....


shalom to whomever reads this.