Two Years

I didn't realize it. I'm not even sure I intended on doing a blog entry today. I know subconsciously I've been wanting to get some thoughts out for a short while now. There's so much inside but its all scattered.


Today is November 5th, and its two years ago on this date that I began this blog. I remember vividly why I started this blog. It came at a turning point in my life, a time when I was very certain and uncertain at the same time about a number of things. I wanted to use this blog as an outlet to get my thoughts out there, and be raw and honest with myself, trying to figure out what lead me to this point and also where I was going.

Its a process and its a journey. Still to this day trying to keep my heart, eyes, and ears to Heaven so that I can move forward in step with God.


A couple things to help me arrange my scattered thoughts.

I want to write. I just don't know what shape that will take in time. I want to go back to school...

I want to draw closer to God, this constant desire to do so, just grows, as I see my own sin, and how the enemy so cleverly knows me and works within my heart...it drives me to seek that refuge you know? And the trip part is the battle is already won but the enemy would have me perceive and believe otherwise...its a moment to moment day to day battle.

I want more money... but God, never fails me, every need I have is met. I struggle though, with what I am doing, could be doing, and I pray that I figure some things out, and head in the direction with the right motives.

I want a relationship. But then I don't. I can honestly say that I am content.

I want to do right by my congregation, friendships, family, and day to day encounters. I want love and closeness to God to shape every thought and birth every action that I have with each and every one of these areas in my life. The two pillars of my life's passion (faith, and relationships) hinges on God's love working in me. I fight against the traitor and sin within to let this be so. I constantly worry that I will fall short or do harm, or wrong by these things because of my own sin and short coming. But I know that with God all things are possible and that He will uphold and strengthen me and my hearts desire to do right by the things, and people He has placed in my life.


I have to go on a service call.....thank you for your time.