Faith

Earlier today a thought came into my mind which caused me to count when my journey of faith began, all the way to the present. It has been nearly, (just about) ten years now. Time goes by so fast. I look back over the years, and have seen how my faith has forged and nurtured who I have been, and who I have become. My faith has changed the way I perceive the world while at the same time being my world. And by that I mean, every thing in "my" world was centered around my faith. It has changed through out the years. Becoming deeper and more firm; lively in its moving through teachings,life changes, and circumstances. In the past nearly ten years I have been through two home congregations...these places, (in their respective times in my life) were my home and also part of "my" world, they were part of the cultivation of my faith...and gave me invaluable friendships, and a true family that transcends blood, and alligence; (especially the latter of the two) Its been nearly a month now since I left my last congregation, and this is the first time since my journey of faith, since my embrace of a life dedicated to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, that I have been without the spiritual oversight and covering of a congregation. I can honestly say that I am alone. And as I fight regret, guilt and sorrow, at what I now see to be a poor choice(s) in leaving, I struggle against myself to quiet my racing thoughts and be still in my spirit within so I can hold on to God's guidance for me; so that as I live, I can take hold of what he has for me. These are my transitions, and his grace and guidance are my hope; because His grace and guidance will be both my sanity and my lifeline to the end of my journey.

I am a sinner, I am nothing, and I can't turn back the hands of time, I don't believe I can right past wrongs, I can only have faith that God will heal them; but I can learn from my mistakes, and I refuse to stop learning along the way...I will fight, to do right by what God places in my life....I regret the times that I have not done right by them......I truly truly do....but again...I must move forward....I can't give up and I can't give in; not now...I will continue to die to myself so that I can live unto God...Christ is anchor and my reason for being...the life he gave so long ago, is the reason why I must give mines in order to live in Him...this knowledge is what keeps me going day by day....a good friend once told me that "the reason why you live, breathe, and take up mass is for the Most High".......this is something I pray I never forget...

much love to whomever reads this...take care; Remember him in all that you do..

Closing Scriptures:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14
Romans 8
John 15