In Pursuit of His Love

As of late. My thoughts and energy have been consumed with God's love. Understanding it, how to properly respond to it. Just simply being in it.

I've been gaining different insights from different sources. Primarily a really close friend and mentor who is on His own journey with God's love, and also just reflections I have gotten from Francis Chan's book, "Crazy Love" (highly recommended read.)

My time spent in quietness, reflection and scripture study has helped me a great deal also.

A few things of note.

Being raw and honest with God. Talking to him audibly and frankly, holding nothing back. Even if it means asking Him to help me love Him because I may not "feel" like it, or may not be fully focused as I should has helped me. A deep revelation for me was that I can't possibly love God on my own. I need Him to love Him through me. All of Him and none of me. Recently I heard a speaker liken it to a young boy wanting to buy his mom a birthday gift, yet had no means or money to do it on his own. His father helped him though, provided both the money and the gift. So that He could give it to His mom. God must do the same for us. He must equip us with His love for Him. How else in the world could one possibly love God with all their, heart, mind, soul, and strength. This is humanly impossible. Yet with Him, it is very possible.


The enormity, and unceasing flow of His love must have a proper response. And it takes us being emptied in order to be filled, and us getting out of the way in order for it to pass through/from us to others. Which of course brings one to the call to love one another as ourselves, or even as the Master said, "to love one another as we have been loved by Him" pretty deep stuff.

I think for me, in the practical application of all of this is the constant seeking of His face. "God I need you"; also staying open, because I personally have the tendency to close myself off. Staying open intentionally puts myself and my own will out of the way and allows for Him to pour into me...His love is literally like a broken dam,...unceasing over powering waters.

With staying open there is also an awareness. An awareness that He is real, that He lives, that what He promised in His word is true. And that He literally does love us. With that openness and awareness there is an assurance and consoling. He's there, at every thought, breathe, heart beat, and even stumble.

But again, with all of this there is the constant need to get out of the way. So often we get in the way. Francis Chan used the terms like, "serving God our leftovers" and "having a balanced life with a little bit of God added in"

Right now, not only am I focusing on this love but also I'm refocusing on being a good steward with my finances. Trying to stay in the continual view of openness and trust in God's direction with how to allocate it. Trusting that it is "all" His and the bit that I do keep provides for my needs as He promised he would. Trying to keep my heart and hand open with what I have been blessed with you know? Its a test of faith at every turn and every expense and I have already seen the benefits of this change of perception on "my/his" resources.

For instance I was asked by an older gentlemen today to buy him something to eat; and I did. I also talked with a woman who I have known for quite sometime now and learned that she had been sleeping in her truck for the past 3 or 4 months. This brought tears to my eyes because I knew her personally and every time I saw her I thought everything was ok. It just humbled me and made realize the importance of God's provision and how to do right by it because at any moment I may be called upon to bless someone with what I have been blessed with. It doesn't have to be much either. I'm trying to make a habit right now of keeping a dollar or two and some loose change in my pocket so that I can have easy access and reach.

I'm also praying that I will get a car soon. We will see how that goes. Hope to keep this blog updated with that. Its funny because not to long ago I was writing about this same thing. Not having a car has definitely been humbling and God has showed me so many things about myself, life, and I've been placed in circumstances that I normally would not have faced if I had been driving all along. Which really has further ingrained in my being the reality of things happening for a reason.

I went to a retreat recently and was blessed to meet some wonderful people in the Messianic movement. Very grateful for that.

Also a very dear friend of mines and a very influential leader in the Messianic Movement is moving to Israel in two days. She will be greatly missed.

One last thing before I go. The beautiful thing about striving to abide in God's love is the fruit. We all know and read about the fruit of the spirit right? Well its so crazy. The other day I literally felt, joy, peace, patience, kindness PERMEATING through me. In my thoughts, and interactions with others, as I walked I just felt as if I was carrying this presence, His presence in me, all the while there was this lightness and refreshing in me and seemed as if there was this invisible spark in my eyes. No lie.

I wish all days were like that. I won't lie and say they are. But that day was special. That day I experienced the fruit of seeking His love.